It’s 2012. The planets are aligning; if you glance upwards into a star-filled sky, you’ll see Venus, Jupiter and Mars are all visible. If you read the Daily Mail, you’ll know that a “Death Star” has been seen “refueling” at the surface of the Sun (genuine news story). And, if you’re awesome, you’ll know that dystopian epic “The Hunger Games” is hitting cinemas everywhere. End of the world? Time for a drink then…

Some books – anything by Roald Dahl, DIY safety manuals, Katie And Peter: The Sweet Release Of Death – were never meant for the transition to the big screen. And we salute them for that – heck, Katie and Peter are far too camera-shy anyway, bless them. But some literary classics are just crying out for a blockbusting re-vamp, and like Gok Wan to a nation of slop-shouldered, emotionally fragile women, we are here to loudly point at what needs to go where.