Sword to be traded in for fetching cane. Sandals still OK.

Alternate history epic? Creature feature? Gothic horror? Maverick director Timur Bekmambetov’s latest film struggles with as much of an identity crisis as its politician/lawyer/Slayer hero, flitting from dry-as-dust declamation to 3D combat in the blink of a glowing red eye. Mind you, with a title like that…

Whoever keeps ruining films by creating plot-revealing trailers, please stop doing it. One Day was bad enough!

Trout face or divine beauty? Angelina Jolie divides the office. So come on then if you think you’re hard enough, let’s face/off and settle it once and for all. Read on to see the fall-out, insults, dirt-slinging madness that this debate created. Best For Film will never be the same again…

Yep. Didn’t see that coming, did you?

Russians, eh? Just when you think there’s no more Hollywood mileage to be had out of their sinister accents and evil shirts, along comes Salt. With a plot straight out of a Cold War thriller, twists that don’t bear any scrutiny whatsoever and set action pieces that have been done countless times before, Salt shouldn’t be that good. So why did I enjoy it so bloody much?

20th Century Fox has acquired the rights to Mark Millar and Steve Niven’s graphic novel, Nemesis, and Tony Scott has signed on to direct.

When we had finished watching Law Abiding Citizen, we had just one question. What is it with Scottish actors and the American accent? Seriously, first up there was Ewan MacGregor, sounding like he was talking with a mouth full of nails in Deception. You’d have thought Hugh Jackman (who like most Australians has some pretty convincing Yank speak) would have taken him aside and given a few words of advice. Admittedly they were both probably avoiding eye contact in the hope that if they didn’t look at one another they might awake from the nightmare of starring in the worst erotic thriller since Ernest Goes to Jail.