This is Clearwater. It shines nine months out of the year, and hurricanes the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots, we have…dolphins.

Flu, the shakes, the shivers, the shimmies, it’s that time of year and we’re all going through it. So maybe stay at home, stick on a DVD and doze yourself to freedom. But beware. In such sensitive fever-based situations, there are films to be avoided. And we’ve got the shortlist right here. Grab your seventh cup of tea, your pyjamas and least damp hankerchief and join us…