Out this week: Silent House, Safe, Angel & Tony, Beauty And The Beast, Two Years At Sea, Monsieur Lazhar

Silent House

There are a few interesting things about horror/thriller Silent House. One – it’s actually a remake of a Uruguayan film that came out LAST YEAR (yep, it’s a swift turnaround these days), two – it’s shot in order to make it look like one continuous take (a la Hitchcock’s Rope) and three – it stars Elizabeth Olsen as a chick being all terrorized in a house and stuff. She’s the good Olsen, for those not paying attention.

Safe

Oh Statham, you big lump of jumping growl, we can never stay mad at you. The world’s best loved trigger thumper stars as Some Thug or whatever, charged with looking after a 12 year old girl who’s wanted by Bad Guys for a code she’s got memorized. To be honest, true Statham fans don’t need plot information in order to run (leap and roll) into their nearest cinemas. Not-so-true Statham fans will probably do well to steer clear.

Angel And Tony

Like your romances with a touch of disarming Frenchy charm about them? Also, a few grubby sexual transactions over Action Man figurines? if oui, Angel and Tony is probably perfect for you. The debut feature from Alix Delaporte that eschews Parisian stereotypes in favour of an unassuming bit of Normandy fun, it charts a blossoming relationship between two people who seem (AT FIRST) doomed to romantic failure. It’s all quite gentle, and there’s a lot of fish in it. Your call, really.

Beauty And The Beast 3D

OK, so there’s this Prince, right, and he’s a bit of dick. The tale of Disney’s stonking classic Beauty And The Beast will be a surprise to no-one to no-one except the most soulless of stone-hearters, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth a second whirl around that big screen. It may be that the retro-fit 3D adds very little save a vague headache for an hour or two afterwards, but surely it’s worth it to see Gaston on a screen that befits his beauty?

Two Years At Sea

if you’re one of them types who cannot stand the idea of paying extra moneys just so that Disney (AKA THE MAN) can SQUEEZE a bit more money from their ROUGH-BRAINED, cynical imagination drainers, then Two Years At Sea might just be for you. More a piece of artwork than a traditional narrative, it tracks two days in the life of Jake Williams; a hermit who spends his life ambling soulfully across the Scottish highlands. It’s beautifully shot, whimsical and entirely story-free. Your thing? Your call.

Monsieur Lazhar

Nominated for this year’s Foreign Film Oscar, Monsieur Lazhar is a quietly damn intelligent film (based on a one-man play entitled Bashir Lazhar) that balances a tale of one man’s suffering from personal tragedy, a school’s recovery from a recent suicide and the political tensions in modern day Algeria with a sense of humour and true lightness of touch. BFF’s choice of the week, we reckon.