I have an almost entirely pointless degree in Biological Anthropology, which means I can’t get a real job, but I can identify and classify all the primates – Rafiki is not a baboon for example, he’s a Mandrillus sphinx. Last Christmas I built a four foot tower of Ferrero Rocher and, having fulfilled that lifetime ambition, now spend my time planning a theatrical adaptation of the ‘critically ill-fated and financially disastrous’ film Grease 2.