Monday

Monday started as we are now accustomed to having all weeks start – with another public acknowledgement of The Artist‘s apparently limitless capacity to win awards. Director Michel Hazanavicius picked up the top prize at the Directors Guild of America Awards, traditionally a strong indicator of who will go on to win Best Director at the Oscars. Meanwhile, The Help won all the awards at the Screen Actors’ Guild because white people have a limitless capacity to beat themselves up, and Bilbo fed some dwarves. Oh, and SJP is taking over from Demi Moore in Lovelace! Presumably she’s playing some sort of feminist horse.

Tuesday

Tuesday was all about casting and collaboration. Top of the bill was the fantastic news that Matthew Vaughn will be directing a sequel to his excellent film X-Men: First Class, swiftly followed by Rooney Mara’s decision to join Steven Soderbergh’s newest film (seriously, when is he just going to do some painting) and Vera Farmiga’s addition to the cast of The Drummer as Fleetwood Mac member Christine McVie. Oh, and in case that wasn’t enough for you Tilda Swinton and John Hurt have totally signed up for a vampire film. You’re welcome.

Wednesday

It’s the longest day of the week, far enough from the weekend for you to have forgotten what you got up to and still two long days from Friday. So it’s only fitting that this Wednesday should have played host to a GRATUITOUS QUANTITY OF NEWS. We had the first official pic from Skyfall (it’s shit), a new teaser for The Avengers (it’s pointless), Mia Wasikowska joining Richard Ayoade’s The Double (they’re amazing), a new Drive poster (it’s gorgeous) and Adam Sandler making a Candyland film (twat). But forget all of that, because TAYLOR SWIFT ISN’T EPONINE! Sensible Tom Hooper has cast, like, a real actress instead.

Thursday

Thursdays are all about retrospection, and this week we’re looking back all over the place – to the nineties, the fifties and the BCs. Colin Firth announced that he would be joining Devil’s Knot, a film about the West Memphis Three and a gruesome series of child murderers which shook America back in the nineties. Meanwhile, 88-year-old former gigolo Scotty Bowers has revealed that he used to get Katharine Hepburn a bit of minge once in a while, and Russell Crowe could be going Biblical to join Darren Aronofsky’s epic about Noah and the Flood. And it doesn’t quite count as nostalgia, but Takashi Shimizu is plagiarising like a motherbitch in this trailer for 7500.

Friday

Easing us gently into the weekend, Friday was the day of Not Very Much Happening. There were some crappy stills from Wrath of the Stupid Titans, a vague threat that the third Bridget Jones’ Diary film might not happen (we’re pretty unfussed at this stage, tbh) and some confusing news re: John Hawkes and Mos Def being cast as the young Robert DeNiro and Samuel L Jackson in The Switch, which is based on a book which is the prequel to the book that Jackie Brown’s based on. We think. And if all of that’s a bit too real, you can always relax with the twenty thousandth and final Hunger Games trailer!

What will you do with your new-found knowledge? Let us know below!