Monday

On Monday Best For Film Towers was empty and very slightly cobwebbed, as our brave soldiers left their posts for a day of frolicking in the sunshine. Conveniently, the cinema world recognised that this would present a problem for our legions of fans and conveniently avoided doing anything newsworthy All Day. So that was nice. Don’t worry, though, fucking EVERYTHING happened on Tuesday…

Tuesday

RIGHT. In no particular order, Tuesday was the day of Avengers Assemble officially making all the money ever, Jessica Chastain deciding she’s too good for Iron Man 3 and James Cameron deciding he’s too good for literally any films ever apart from Avatar. And marine documentaries, natch. We were also rather excited to see this beautiful new trailer for Argo, and slightly less thrilled (although not by much) to see Lena Headey looking all scarred as Dredd villain Ma-Ma. Least interesting promotional material of the day definitely goes to The Campaign, which looks like total wank. Oh, and Prometheus’ MPAA rating (R) was leaked! More on that story later.

Wednesday

Following on from yesterday’s juicy Avengers news, Wednesday saw the inevitable sequel getting the green light. Quite right too. We also heard a little more (not a lot) about Kick-Ass 2: Balls to the Wall, which has finally been given the thumbs-up after floating around outer space for longer than, like, Thor’s discarded beard clippings. Wevs. The ladies of Hollywood were flexing their getting-cast-in-stuff muscles, with Cameron Diaz joining The Counselor and Rebecca Hall on the verge of replacing Jessica Chastain in Iron Man 3, and we were ‘treated’ to EVEN MORE boring images from Dredd. Oh, and there was a new Resident Evil poster or something – it’s fine, nobody but Papa Neish gives a shit.

Thursday

For all self-respecting nerds, the majority of Thursday’s news was simply background noise next to the glorious announcement that The World’s End, the sort-of sequel to Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, has finally got a start date! Fuckin’ A. We were so hyped up on WrightPeggFrostade after that that we couldn’t even get too upset about Kurt Russell (and Sacha Baron Cohen, but who cares?) leaving Django Unchained and a CGI Paddington Bear movie inexplicably beginning to happen. In other news, Luke Evans has been confirmed as the baddie in Fast & Furious 6 – maybe when Vin Diesel inevitably shoots him Mila Kunis can show off her lifesaving skills and give him mouth-to-mouth? Oh, and Prometheus has got a 15 certificate over here. Screw you, 16 year old American sci-fi fans! Guess you’ll just have to hang out with your girlfr- oh, wait.

Friday

In hopefully the last piece of Prometheus news until the blasted thing actually comes out in three weeks, a pile of new images from Ridley Scott’s overexposed epic arrived online. Woo. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Rachel McAdams, underwhelming actresses both, have apparently signed on to the inevitably-going-to-be-shit Red 2 and the potentially promising Richard Curtis-directed About Time respectively. Ace. There’s going to be a third Smurfs film. Blah. Did we forget anything? Oh yeah, how about Guillermo del Toro deciding to make a STOP-MOTION PINOCCHIO FILM! If that isn’t an image to carry with you into the weekend, we don’t know what is…