*John and Tash are being thoroughly Sorted Out by their team of wildly intelligent (deeply suspect) writer types, and have been backed into the only corner they feel comfortable in: that of Arbitrarily Ordering Them To Do Pointless Tasks. So, as Lydia’s counting the number of buttons on her own shirt, Caroline’s holding the pens, Beth’s checking the building for ninjas and Kayleigh’s shouting “I LOVE IT HERE HONEST I DO” loudly (or else), it’s time to have a look at what we should go see tonight. ORANGE WEDNESDAYS HO!*

Lydia (deeply suspect):

This week I am keen to see In a Better World, a film which simultaneously follows a Doctor working in an African refugee camp and his family’s life in an idealistic Danish town, where his son is being bullied. It looks like an interesting parallel, with a level of psychological depth that Hollywood no longer waste their budgets on. Plus all things Danish (or generally Scandinavian) are trendy at the moment, and I like to stay in trend. Not so keen on Conan The Barbarian which looks a bit too much flesh, testosterone and horse-mutilation for a mid-week flick.

Orange Choice: In A Better World
Ultimate Lemon: Conan The Barbarian

Caroline (deeply suspect):

Japan, you are simply too badass for me. In my heart of hearts, I think I really want to see Villain. In fact, if Villain was pitched to me, and no-one told me it was Japanese, I would definitely go see it. But Villain IS Japanese, and that means any number of crazy world-shattering things could happen. Thoughts like “No, I think this is a little extreme. Maybe we shouldn’t have the lead character murder his granny. The audience won’t like it.” don’t ever occur to Japanese directors. This is why Villain is my lemon. I’m too fragile. The world is still far too bright. Children of the Revolution on the other hand, is a level of grit I can reasonably handle. There are also some Japanese bits in it, but it’s a documentary, so maybe it won’t ruin my life.

Orange Choice: Children Of The Revolution
Ultimate Lemon: Villain

Beth (deeply suspect):

Too many of my phobias have spawned from the humongous Final Destination back catalogue; therefore I would like to salvage certain SAFE areas of life to enjoy without death-related consequences. The danger list already includes construction sites, elevators, rollercoasters and planes. This is seriously hindering my holiday planning. The latest incarnation will be avoided at all costs. You know what is absent from my life? Cowboys. Lots of them. And aliens. Less of them. Ridiculous you cry? Pah. What’s so ridiculous about a horse outrunning a souped-up space invader? Or Daniel Craig exploding things with his rather chunky new Rolex? Bring on the gangster of the desert – it’s Cowboys And Aliens time.

Orange Choice: Cowboys And Aliens
Ultimate Lemon: Final Destination 5

Kayleigh (deeply suspect):

I really wanted to see The Skin I Live In. I love Antonio Banderas, I love a good horror movie and I adore a flick with a twist at the end. But then, the other night, I had a strange dream that my father was hell-bent on skinning me alive with a potato peeler and it put me right off the whole amateur plastic surgery theme. So that slapped a big fat bitter lemon right in the middle of my Banderas euphoria. Never mind, I can still get my zesty orange goodness at As Blood Runs Deep. A small-town detective tracking down a teenage killer? Check. A surprisingly large amount of community spirit. Double check. But are there any nightmare-inducing elements that will cause me to back out of the kitchen when my father enters? Apparently not! Definitely onto a winner with this one.

Orange Choice: As Blood Runs Deep
Ultimate Lemon: The Skin I Live In

John (deeply suspicious):

Esta semana, todas mis naranjas han sido reservas por la nueva película de Pedro Almodóvar. That was some SPANISH, y’all, because I’m getting myself in an orangey Hispanic frenzy over my desire to see The Skin I Live In. It’s more than twenty years since Almodóvar and his muse Antonio Banderas worked together, and if the thundering critical reaction is anything to go by (it is, obviously, because we agreed with it) then this is going to be something really, really special – think Frankenstein for the cosmetic surgery era. Conversely, when I went to see insipid indie nonsense Powder I literally had to leave the room and vomit. Actually literally. I promise.

Orange Choice: The Skin I Live In
Ultimate Lemon: Powder

Tash (consumed with suspicion):

There are few things I want to do less than go and see a film where the story is constructed entirely around Having Things Nearly Hit Me In The Face. For that reason, I’ll probably be giving Final Destination 5 a miss. Considering how crushingly disappointed I was in Cowboys And Aliens last week, it seems only right that I continue a theme and go and watch One Day. Anne Hathaway is a handy, cushioned underwhelming device in any film she features in, and hopefully with this in mind the lovely Jim Sturgess will shine all the more. Also, considering I’ve read the book I know how it ends for her. Say no more…

Orange Choice: One Day
Ultimate Lemon: Final Destination 5