The phrase “Money for old rope” has many apparent origins, though the one I like the best is to do with hangings. Apparently the more morbidly curious and macabre people of the 18th century often sought out used hangman’s rope as a souvenir of an execution – the hangman would dutifully oblige, cutting the rope…

This is the final part of a trilogy of equally amazing films, but because it is the culmination of a series of dark and dangerous events is PRECISELY why it is so brilliant. When films have a satisfying payoff full of delicious goodness, a climax that rewards you for taking the time to watch it; it’s like eating your favourite dinner then sitting back and revelling in that ‘just full enough’ feeling. There are few films that do this better than Return of the King.

As a huge proportion of horror films become ever more identikit, gory and bland, it’s very easy to write off the whole genre as worthless. But we’re standing up and saying NO MORE! There’s gold in them thar pans of muddy shite, and we’re going to find it.