If* we ever build a time machine, Adam, we’re going back to 1966 to kick your mum in the stomach. *When

Big Momma is back for a third joyless excursion into ‘let’s-all-laugh-at-the-silly-black-woman-because-it-doesn’t-count-as-racism’ territory, which now features a second ridiculous fat-suited goon – now with extra rapping!. I hope Martin Lawrence spends his evenings thinking about how he’d be more use to humanity as fertiliser, sobbing onto his immorally inflated bank statements.

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before. A young boy discovers that he is the offspring of powerful parents (they always are) and a greater destiny awaits him (it always does). So he travels to be trained in the ways of the hero and then confronts much stronger and deadlier foes than any young boy should and emerges victorious (in no small part two his two companions a clever yet vulnerable girl and a cowardly yet loyal boy. No we’re not talking about Harry Potter and the One With the Spells, we are talking about Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief