As controversy continues to build around this pointless film, we think its time to get a grip.

It looks like John Carter is going to fall fast and land hard at the box office. Costing a cool $250 mill’ to make, based on a cherised collection of sci-fi novels, featuring the most sophisticated CGI Disney could afford and being the live action debut of director Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, Wall-E plus writing credits on the Toy Story trilogy), John Carter looked like a shoe-in to be one of the year’s toppermost earners. Right now it looks like breaking even worldwide would be a hopeful return. Which got us thinking….

This week’s cheat sheet takes the imposing form of cinematic iconoclast and sometime magician Orson Welles. Where do you start with a man famous for doing just about everything? Well, let us show you…

As a huge proportion of horror films become ever more identikit, gory and bland, it’s very easy to write off the whole genre as worthless. But we’re standing up and saying NO MORE! There’s gold in them thar pans of muddy shite, and we’re going to find it.

As a rule, sellout films usually contain a colon and/or a number. We’re looking at you, Speed 2: Cruise Control. Yet, the definition of a ‘sellout’ is tricky, because producers are very good at making shit smell like roses, and before you know it you’re on the set of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. When you see a film and think, ‘what the devil is Globey McOscar doing in this?!’ we’ve got the three reasons behind their decision to sell their soul.

Are you worried that November might well end up as the lame month the calendar Gods intended it to be? Do you sit around doing nothing but contemplating the terrible event Christmas shopping will turn out to be? Well I can’t technically help you with any of that. What I can do though is provide you with the awesomeness that is the latest Film Festivals from around the UK!

Citizen Kane: It continually tops the “Best Film Ever” polls and is a byword for cinematic greatness. But are the plaudits exaggerated, and is there anything there for the modern moviegoer? Jon Cooper explains why for once, the hype might be justified…