Is it time for the lovely relaxing weekend yet? Is it hell; you know the rules, nobody gets to go home until two of Best For Film’s crankiest writers (and none of us boast what you might call a sunny disposition) have it out on a contentious topic. This week it’s dance films; where do you stand?

Big Momma is back for a third joyless excursion into ‘let’s-all-laugh-at-the-silly-black-woman-because-it-doesn’t-count-as-racism’ territory, which now features a second ridiculous fat-suited goon – now with extra rapping!. I hope Martin Lawrence spends his evenings thinking about how he’d be more use to humanity as fertiliser, sobbing onto his immorally inflated bank statements.

Step Up 3D has lots of very talented dancers in it, which is all well and good. Unfortunately, not a single one of them could act their way out of a damp paper bag. Which is not so good. This film will definitely be a waste of your time, unless you’re 14 years old and think that a plot is somewhere to grow vegetables.

Revel in the nostalgia of some cheap animation before burning with thorough and righteous indignation that Hollywood still made “Battlefield Earth” before any of these.