With Magic Mike finally preparing to grace our eyeballs on this most hallowed Orange Wednesday, it only seems fitting that there should be a tribute to all those that came scantily-clad onto our screens before Channing Tatum and Co. – with no further foreplay, BFF presents our Top 10 Movie Strippers of All Time.

Either your entire family was recently captured by Somali pirates whilst on a pleasure cruise and you were forced to watch each of them being systematically tortured in an attempt to get you to release the codes for the Swiss bank vault containing the family fortune, or Abduction will be the worst thing you’ve seen this year. It’s as simple as that, really.

Have you ever thought, we mean really thought, about Sean Penn? We have. And lo and behold one of us thinks he’s of the Parker fountain Penn of Hollywood, and the other thinks he’s just the biro that the dog has chewed and oh god someone call the vet, it’s choking.

Where would Back To The Future be without that beautiful aural backdrop of “DER NERRR ner ner ne ner NER NER NER, DER NERRRR de ne ner ner ner NER”? Admittedly it loses something in translation, but the point is, this week’s cheat sheet is dedicated to the man who makes Robert Zemekis sound like a champion: Alan Silvestri.

Two households, both alike in dignity/ In fair Verona, where we lay our scene/ From ancient grudge break to new mutiny/ Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean/ From forth the fatal loins of these two foes/ A pair of star-cross’d GNOMES IT’S ALL BLOODY GNOMES AAARGH.

Moments that made you cry with joy, weep with laughter or go out and punch the universe because what you just saw was just too epic to believe. Here are the Top 20 Most Awesome Moments in Film! (Serious Spoiler Alert!)

…though still not the part we care most about. Dammit. While there’s still no say on who will play heroine Lisbeth Salander in the Hollywood adaptation of Larsson’s The Millenium Trilogy, we can announce that Robin Wright has been cast as Erika Berger; the sharp, savvy and sexy editor of Millenium magazine who features as reporter Mikael Blomkvist’s love interest and boss.

“It is better,” said the essayist and moralist Joseph Joubert, “to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.” In the spirit of such a great man that we just found out about on Wikipedia, we present you, gentle reader, with the first in what may well be a series of debates on the state of modern film.

Hollywood’s bent for all things cheesy is perhaps best embodied in that most haunting of spectres, the child actor. From their cutesy giggles to their moronic lisps, we count down the five most irritating mugs ever to grace the screen at the tender age of precocious.