The lot of a film critic is not an easy one; actors hate us, we inevitably have breakdowns during LFF, and every now and again we get accused of being paedophiles when we go to kids’ films alone. (This is a true story.) And as an unfortunate soul proved this week in America, once Google Glass rolls out we won’t even be able to further Google’s terrifying march towards global dominance in cinemas! Not that we’d especially want to, mind. Here are five other gadgets (none, alas, real) that we’d much rather take to the pictures.

James Bond, agent of Her Majesty’s Secret Service, is a hero and inspirational figure, right? WRONG! If he was real, James Bond would be the worst human being who ever lived; Adolf Hitler had more moral fibre than this womanising drunk. With James Bond Ian Fleming created a monster, not a role model, and here’s why.