Is it raining? Is it sunny? Was Prometheus terrible? Is Plan B actually a proper good film maker? So many questions, so many paradoxes, so few opportunities to check whether you need socks or not. Thank God we can all rely on the permanence of TWO FOR ONE CINEMA – when our freebies fail us, that’s when we’ll know we’re really in trouble.

This Wednesday marks the release of Rock of Ages, a film in which raspy-voiced funny man Alec Baldwin shares what is being touted as a “sensual song and a kiss” with our very own Russell Brand. In honour of this erotic occasion, BFF is taking a look back at the life, loves and career of our favourite Baldwin brother (sorry Daniel, Billy and Stephen).

Tired of watching your favourite fairytales rehashed on the big screen? With Jack The Giant Killer, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and The Hunchback of Notre Dame all in various stages of production, and a Snow White and the Huntsman sequel already announced, it seems there is no sign of the trend abating just yet. With that in mind, we look back at the best and the worst films that this emerging genre so far has to offer.

You want to try this Secret Cinema thing, don’t you? You quite fancy it? Think it might be a bit of a lark? Thirty quid’s a lot of money though, isn’t it? And you’re terrible with strangers, and with surprises and with paying thirty quid for something. Maybe you should just sit at home with your socks on, watching Peter Andre: My Life. NO. You’re doing this, dammit, and we’re going to show you how. Introducing our guide to joining the ranks of the ever-wonderful Secret Cinema – it’s OK, we’re here now.

It’s been a long, flag-based break, and we’re still not quite ready for the onslaught of the remainder of the week. Thank goodness then that we have the clammy embrace of TWO FOR ONE CINEMA to keep us motivated. THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S NOT MONDAY, IT’S WEDNESDAY! We’re living in the future!

The first image from Iron Man 3 has been released, and the sight of all Tony Stark’s lovely suits has got us all nostalgic. Join us for a stroll down Memory Lane, if by ‘memory’ you mean ‘GLEAMY DEATH TROUSERS’.

Ding dong, the Queen’s not dead! As the matriarch of the Windsor (it’s transliterated from Wyndzaargh) clan of ravenous space lizards celebrates six decades of dominion over the oppressed humans of these isles, the anti-reptile resistance continues to gather in secret in cinemas across the land. On Wednesdays, mostly, because guerrilla warriors are generally a bit strapped for cash.

PROMETHEUS PROMETHEUS PROMETHEUS FOREVER ARGHHH. Yeah yeah, sure we all know Scotty too hotty is the man behind the biggest thing to happen to aliens since The Fresh Prince put a suit on, but how much do you really know about him? Did you know he was supposed to design the Daleks? That he got his big break on a Hovis advert? That he directed Blade Runner? OK fine, ignore that last one, but FOR THE REST, we’ve got a CHEAT SHEET!

After a distressingly long absence from our – well, not our screens exactly, but our derelict warehouses – Secret Cinema is back with its biggest every event, running for a full month here in London. And it starts this week. Thank God it’s Monday!

Another week, another freshly baked batch of films vying for your attention. Which will you see? If only there was some way of watching all the good bits in three minutes and deciding if you want to fill in the gaps – oh, wait…