As the stage is set for another bloody awful year of Nicolas Cage releasing eight thousand crappy films, we thought we’d take you on a whistle-stop tour back through his entire demented oeuvre since the Millennium. Not suitable for readers who are sensitive to unpleasant hairstyles.

Christmas isn’t about families, and good times, and joy to the world and all that nonsense! It’s all about humbug, misanthropy, selfishness and greed. Yeah, that’s what Christmas is about. Thanks for the new car, Dad. I didn’t get you a goddamn thing, and you’d better be grateful.

Bauer’s back! Season 7 of 24 proves that with a little thought, even a series in freefall can get back to basics while successfully moving forward.