Sometimes a cheeky little indie film strolls up, favours you with one of those complicated ‘street’ handshakes and changes your life for the better with its endearingly lo-fi quirks and unexpectedly powerful story. Powder, alas, is not such a film. More likely to glare at you from inside a fashionably scruffy greatcoat than offer you a rollie and a cheerful anecdote, it is the very worst sort of self-absorbed garbage.

Finally, Neil McCormick’s memoir has made it to the big screen! Wait, who? Oh, just some bloke who went to school with U2 who spent most of his formative years playing in a band with his brother and trying (and failing) to emulate their success.

Ah! A compelling tale of pride, jealousy and brotherly love served up with a devastating critique of record industry? Don’t count on it.

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…