As a huge proportion of horror films become ever more identikit, gory and bland, it’s very easy to write off the whole genre as worthless. But we’re standing up and saying NO MORE! There’s gold in them thar pans of muddy shite, and we’re going to find it.

Most people don’t like to be in a lift, full stop. But imagine being there with four others, three with a shady past and the king of shade, the devil himself. As a sinner yourself, your complaint may not make it to the file and pot, kettle, black would spring to mind. The moral of the story: the devil punishes wrongdoers. And not just with coal in your stocking.

Hi! I’m not Troy McClure. You might remember me from other such features as “Top 10 Aimless 80’s Nostalgia Trips” and “Waffling On About Something Irrelevant That Causes Me Disproportionate Anger”. Now, let’s stroll together down a list of the great Mr. McClure’s oft-name dropped movies, and see which ones should be jammed into production like a fish in a sock.