It’s lunchtime, and I’m eating a rather disappointing BLT with a lukewarm can of G&T on one of SouthWest Trains’ longer and more bumpy routes through deepest darkest Hampshire while the sun beams down outside. Frankly, this article title was designed to incite jealousy and – although Hollywood is overflowing with unforgettable onscreen dishes – many of the meals on this list are horrendous, if only to help my mental wellbeing. Bon appétit!

The Lorax opens on Friday, with the eponymous orange land guardian voiced by Danny DeVito, just as he is in the Spanish, German, Italian and Russian version, which is impressive in anyone’s book. You’ve got til Saturday to catch him in his West End debut The Sunshine Boys with Richard Griffiths. 100% of the people we asked described it as “utterly, painfully tedious”, so make of that what you will. In the meantime, have yourselves a little cheat sheet…

Hollywood’s bent for all things cheesy is perhaps best embodied in that most haunting of spectres, the child actor. From their cutesy giggles to their moronic lisps, we count down the five most irritating mugs ever to grace the screen at the tender age of precocious.