What do you know about Kristin Scott Thomas? Exactly. She’s beautiful and French (except she isn’t, but you know) and she plays lots of tragic heroines and frigid upper-class women and generally people who look down their nose at the world until they suddenly have all the sex. If that’s it, you need this Cheat Sheet like KST needs a genteel chignon (clue: a lot)

Just when you thought being married to Uma Thurman was stress enough for poor Ethan Hawke, he moves to Paris and gets involved with a vampy older woman who may or may not be real. That’ll teach him to have a silly name, eh? The Woman in the Fifth is a fascinating tale which will lead you into a completely new world and do its level best to leave you there.