Remember the good old days? Before you decided it would be a good idea to watch ‘A Serbian Film’ because everyone told you not to (seriously, don’t). You know, when horror could be scary without damaging you and all your subsequent relationships for the rest of your life. Back when all the kids at school were talking about that awesome new American movie with the big silver ring and the videotape that makes you die. Well now it’s time to look shamefully back, and chastise your adolescent self for thinking for one second that a western remake of that ‘movie with the creepy Japanese girl’ could come anywhere close to its original. Welcome to the world of J-horror.

Here we are, at everyone’s favourite refrain! Let’s celebrate by considering 5 of the best “gold rings” (they’re not all gold, they’re not all rings). We here at BFF are so very kind that we scoured cinema history in order to deliver 5 shiny circles into your brain via your optic nerve. You might remember Michael Fassbender doing a similar thing to Kevin Bacon in X-Men: First Class, but we promise to be more gentle than that.

In 2008 action comedy Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller’s character learns the hard way the perils inherent in going Full Retard for his role in fictitious drama ‘Simple Jack’. Rebecca Hall has clearly never seen Tropic Thunder. She’s never even heard of it.

Remake? No. Reinvent? Yes! Join us on an adventure in repetition as we go on an adventure in repetition. Learn your what to do and (more importantly) what not to do in the many occasions throughout your life when you will be called upon to direct the remake of a classic movie.

Look, Paranormal Activity, you’re a smart, scary franchise, I know you could do better than this if you applied yourself. 1988 is not a scary year, and creepy children are seriously overdone. Supernatural horror in the heart of suburbia? Sounds brilliant. Witches? Not so much.

From horror flicks to romances, Hollywood owes some of its most original film ideas to the Asian film industry, and has done for the past 40 years. And why not? Remakes of Asian films offer a cheap and market-tested method of reaching audiences and earning big bucks. But simply buying the rights does not always a smash hit make.