Tamsin Greig is the only high point in this mediocre thriller about a woman’s hallucinations.

The Boys are Back doesn’t work as well as it thinks it does. By all accounts, it should be a stand-out for the drama genre this year – a teary but heart-warming memoir of an absentee dad thrust into single parenthood, brought to the screen by the king of the subtle dramatic performance, Clive Owen. Add in some lovely scenic shots of the South Australian coast and acclaimed Shine director Scott Hicks at the helm, and you should be onto a winner. While it’s an interesting look at what loss can do to a family, it’s not exactly a warm-and-fuzzy tale for the ages.

You could be forgiven for thinking this film was another brutal gangster flick. But despite the somewhat misleading title and dramatic black and white posters currently lining tube stations to promote its release, it’s actually as for from the shoot-em-up genre as you can get.

As much as we love to moan about the ‘too good to be true’ on-screen relationship, there exists something far worse; the utterly baffling on-screen relationship. From girls having sex with Death in Meet Joe Black to questionable sexual age politics in Big, we feel it’s time for these dodgy love affairs to be exposed for what they are; bloody weird.