For the second time this Christmas, we’re going all out and treating you to a film which has been posted in full on YouTube by an internetter of dubious legality. Still, we’ve got bigger things to worry about than some teenager going to prison – Santa’s been kidnapped by Martians! This is genuinely what today’s video is about. No more details, whatever you’re currently imagining is too precious…

SO MANY MARTIANS, SO LITTLE JOY