In geology, a rock is a naturally occurring solid aggregate of minerals and / or mineraloids. While plenty is known about all things igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic, not nearly enough knowledge exists about our favourite rock of all. Yup. it’s time to get under the skin of Chris Rock…

Another thick, beige parade of weekdays stands before you, threatening you with the kind of crippling boredom only bestest by anything written by Nicholas Sparks or facts about golf. THANK GOODNESS THEN that Best For Film is committed to making sure you don’t have a truly awful life. Thank God It’s Monday proudly presents your guide to this weekend’s UK Green Film Festival!

Remember last week? Remember last week when tomorrow was sort of SUNDAY AGAIN because of the magic of last week? Yeah, well that’s not how this tomorrow’s going to work, big boy. Monday is on its way like some mad, Taylor Lautner based dribbling hell hound, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Except promise you that there are, at least, NEW FILMS afoot! Trailers ho!

Hey, you know that saying about the eyes being the window to your soul? What if the window opened up into a nightmare, wrapped in a murder, nestled in an insane asylum? Don’t understand? You will, my friend, oh you will.

Another week rolls to a close, and yet again you haven’t kept up on the constant flood of cinematic nonsense which issues from the mouths of actors, publicists and (most importantly) us. Thank god for our conveniently bite-sized News Round-Up, eh? If only all revision was this much fun.

You know who’s great? President Barack Obama. Not only is he unsettlingly charismatic he has also just declared (finally) that he is in favour of same sex marriage, effectively kicking all his Republican opponents in their rigidly conservative/homophobic nuts. TAKE THAT TO YO’ TEA PARTY, NEWT. In honour of this momentous occasion (and also to herald the almost release of this gem), BFF brings you the Top Ten list of movie presidents (both fictional and non-fictional for double the pleasure!).

It’s the sexiest OW&L in history, which makes it just 14% less sexy than everything else on the internet. Let’s celebrate by going into a dark room, getting nice and close and WATCHING AVENGERS ASSEMBLE ALL OVER AGAIN! Or whatever. Your call, hot stuff.

She’s been winning rave reviews for her performance as a repressed, cross-dressing woman in Albert Nobbs, and we all remember her preparing that impromptu rabbit stew, but who is the real Glenn Close? If only there was a way to find out just enough to bluff a conversation without having to leave this site…

Wahey! Bank holiday! A whole extra day off, it’s like you never have to go back to work again, isn’t it? But you will. It’s happening, and if anything, it will be worse than anything you can possibly imagine. So why try and engage your brain just yet? This week’s releases in lovely trailer format – wrap that poor mind of yours around some soothing flashy noise.

It’s been another jam-packed week here in the world of film, but we understand that you’re a busy bee and you can’t be expected to keep up with our entire news output. So here, once again, is our handy Saturday digest of the week’s top stories. It’s like time-travelling, but not nearly as good!