On the fourth day of Christmas, Best For Film gave to me…

Calling Birds #4 – When A Stranger Calls

The film that coined the classic line “The call is coming from inside the house!” When A Stranger Calls was genuinely scary, although it feels a little dated in these heady times of MyPhones and Bleepberrys or whatever these damned kids are always tapping on. Understanding this, Tristar decided to update and modernise When A Stranger Calls for a new generation in 2006, and they did so by dipping a brush in shit and wiping it across the memory of the original film. Oh well, at least Clark Gregg was in that remake.

However terrible horror remakes always are (please please please let The Evil Dead remake be decent!), we will always have a special place in our hearts for cheesy 70s horror, which makes When A Stranger Calls our No. 4 Calling Bird!

Calling Birds #3 – Dial M For Murder

The classic Alfred Hitchcock murdertastic thriller starring a gorgeous (and vulnerable) Grace Kelly. It’s remarkable how well Dial M For Murder has held up over the years, despite having a ridiculous title – perhaps it will pop up in the upcoming Hitchcock. If there’s one thing Anthony Dawson, the emaciated and mournful-looking murderer up there, taught us in Dial M For Murder, it is that if you’re going to strangle your Calling Bird, murder in style – only use the finest, softest silk. Killers have got to be caring!

Calling Birds #2 – Scream

Alfred Hitchcock is all very well and good, but cheesy 90s homages to Hitchcock is EVEN BETTER. Possibly the most famous phone call in cinema history, the opening sequence of Scream reverberates throughout our formative years. Ever since seeing Drew Barrymore get turned into a pin cushion, we screen all our calls, never cook our own popcorn and wear a police-issue stab-resistant vest day and night. You can’t be too careful. Do YOU like scary movies?

Calling Birds #1 – Crank

We’ve talked at length about Crank, and how it is the greatest achievement the human race is ever likely to attain. If they ever crack that cold fusion thing, it’ll still be left in the dust by Crank. This is a bit of a spoiler, but honestly if you haven’t seen Crank yet, you probably aren’t worth bothering about anyway (sorry John Underwood!): at the end of Crank, Chelios (Jason Statham) falls from a helicopter. Safe in the knowledge that he is most definitely dead (until Crank 2: High Voltage anyway), Chelios decides to CALL his BIRD (Amy Smart) one last time… and gets her answering machine. Jason Statham delivers an oddly sweet and touching farewell to his girlfriend, for a man so pumped with masculinity that even Uruk-hai tremble in his presence. Who amongst us doesn’t shed a tear when Chelios finishes his call by smiling and saying “you were the greatest, baby”? Crank is most definitely our Number 1 Calling Bird!

This isn’t the first time Christmas and Crank have come together at Best For Film. You may remember our Write Christmas competition, which culminated in the synopsis for Crank 3: Festive Spirit. Here’s the resulting poster (with a little bit of BFF Towers’ carpet):

We here at BFF are SO kind, SO generous and SO enamored with Jason Statham, that we present to you one last gift in our Top 4 Calling Birds – Jason Statham talking about salmon:

…three French hens,

two turtle doves,

and a partridge in a pear tree!