Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons #2

As previously discussed, we’re getting into the habit of having a good old film-based rabbit on a Wednesday afternoon. What do you want to see this week? We’ve got our choices all hammered out – what are you going to be winking at from across a crowded cinema?

John (eats far too many apples):

I realise I’ve now been talking about The King’s Speech for three months, but I don’t care – I shan’t stop until you’ve seen it. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it’ll change your life. Once it’s changed your life, you can spend a couple of hours trying to set fire to the cardboard cut-outs of Nicolas Cage in Season of the Witch which are probably littering the foyer. Talentless, be-wigged tosser.

ORANGE CHOICE: The King’s Speech
ULTIMATE LEMON: Season of the Witch

Magda (currently learning the violin):

The lovely thing about giallo and krimi films is that they’re such a tiny film niche they’re a hill you can actually be king of. I hereby declare myself Best For Film’s king of giallo and krimi films. Huzzah! Welcome to my ant-heap, dear hearts! As such, I’m looking forward to Amer, a French-language sort-of thriller whose main claim to fame is that it owes a lot to Suspiria, Dario Argento’s giallo classic. I expect style, beautiful sets, surrealism, exquisite taste and a feeling of dark expense. And gore.

Oh blah blah, The King’s speech. Everyone else has seen it. I’m exhausted by your constant praise. I feel as though I am Colin Firth. I’ve done my consorting with colonials. I’ve overcome my speech impediment. That was me, that was. Why would I wish to see a film about it? I shall watch the film in a year or two, when the fuss has died down and I can watch the film with fewer expectations.

ULTIMATE LEMON: The King’s Speech

Sam (cameoed in The Only Way Is Essex):

This may sound strange coming from the man who has consistently named Machete as the film of 2010, but please take my word for it, Abel is wonderful. Tender, affecting, and darkly funny – any fans of world cinema need to seek this one out. You really would have to pay me to go and see The King’s Speech. Perhaps it’s a bit of a deathmatch generation attitude but to me, a film needs to have a hook to get me interested. I just can’t find it here – if someone with a speech impediment took 2 hours to tell me about it, I would get seriously bored. Make that person Colin Firth and no matter how lovely his costume is and I’d have nodded off pretty quickly. Mind you I’d rather go and see that than Season Of The Witch…

ULTIMATE LEMON: The King’s Speech

*At this point discussion halted as John abruptly stood up and attempted to shoot Sam with an AK 47 he had hidden in his apple collection. A struggle ensued and Magda managed to overpower both of them with a flick of an owly finger. Discussions continued*
Georgi (thinks we need more nudity onsite):

To be fair to Sam, an acquaintance of mine recently described The King’s Speech as: ‘Merchant Ivory wank’. I think we’re all forgetting a gem here: The Next Three Days. It looks pacy, it’s not set in a cave and you get to see Russell Crowe spurring his bloated physique into action. What’s not to love? The sour scent of citrus is wafting from… It’s Kind of a Funny Story. It’s Juno, but with severe clinical depression replacing teen pregnancy. And Zach Galifianakis. Definite miss.

ORANGE CHOICE: The Next Three Days
ULTIMATE LEMON: It’s Kind of a Funny Story

Stephen (adept at downloading service packs:

With the Awards season bearing down on us with all the charmless inevitability of a rehashed Jonathon Ross monologue filling Saturday night air-time on ITV, it’s probably in your best interests to catch The King’s Speech. For those that could give two hoots about such things, I recommend 127 Hours: Danny Boyle has entered a prime phase in his career and this one promises to pull out all the stops. Arms will roll. For the masochists – they know who they are – get yourself off to see Nicholas Cage’s wig take the acting honours in Season of the Witch.

ULTIMATE LEMON: Season of the Witch

Becky (owns multiple donkeys):

Oh just go and see The King’s Speech! Even if you have already seen it. Go again. It really is that good, a bit of stiff upper lip Firth action, Helena Bonham Carter not doing demented, it’s win win. Your other choices are limited to naked pretty people in Love and Other Drugs or kiddy movies. Hmmm. Whatever you do, do not be fooled by 127 Hours. Bleugh. Man sawing arm off with penknife. If that honestly ticks your boxes, go see Saw. Essentially same film, except with more manly weapons.

ORANGE CHOICE: The King’s Speech

Tash (compulsively climbs things when drunk):

Yeah, The King’s Speech is pretty good, I have to say. Geoffrey Rush’s lovely, foldy face, I wish I had a stutter just so I could talk about all my damaging childhood stuff with him. I’m with Becky – 127 Hours looks a bit too rough for my tender, girlish tracts and frankly if I wanted to see a man saw his own arm off I’d go and give a stranger a choice between that and watching It’s Kind Of A Funny Story. Black Swan on Friday, huzzah!

ORANGE CHOICE: The King’s Speech
ULTIMATE LEMON: It’s Kind Of A Funny Story

David (very good line in jumpers):

I STILL haven’t seen 127 Hours. Despite telling people I’m a massive Danny Boyle fan (if you haven’t seen Shallow Grave, then you should cut your own arm off with a rusty pen knife) I’m yet to get my grubby little self into a cinema to watch his latest offering. I don’t want to see The King’s Speech. Now hear me out world (but mainly John, terrifying, fruit-touting John), the only reason I don’t want to see it this week is because every man, woman and child with an Orange Wednesday code will be trying to see it as well. I’d much rather see it, oh I don’t know, next Tuesday, when no one will be there expect me. Yes, I’m that guy who goes to the cinema on his own. I hate me too.

ULTIMATE LEMON: The King’s Speech

So it looks like 127 Hours, Abel and The King’s Speech is where itzat at BFF Towers. Have we missed anything good? Tell us, or suffer the invisible wrath of very little.

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