Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons #4

The mood is subdued at Best For Film Towers, as Magda is unfortunately absent due to her cat getting poo in its eye (no, really). Tash tries to soothe the assembled multitude with some pleasing images of Indy with his kit off…

Tash (can’t stop wittering about Tim Minchin):
Beautiful crinkly Harrison Ford can be grumpy all he likes. Grumpy and naked. Morning Glory looks like bloody good fun in my book, and after watching Rachel McAdams in The Time Traveller’s Moan I can safely say her forehead is massive and full of acting. Black Swan is a good shout for those who don’t want to spend the next month going “yeah I know, I really should go”, and don’t go and watch The Dilemma. Vince Vaughn and other Vince Vaughn in a feature presentation of These Women Are Still Too Attractive For Us. No thank you.

ORANGE CHOICE: Morning Glory

David (saw Tash in a tutu once):
You know that society at large is going down the shitter when a film called I Spit on your Grave gets REMADE. Does the world need gore porn? I don’t. I don’t want to go anywhere near it. I would much rather relax with a nice bit of Romantic Comedy where nobody gets tortured. Morning Glory might be torture, but for reasons along the lines of ‘it’s not funny’. Harrison Ford playing a grumpy news reader – what’s not to like?

ORANGE CHOICE: Morning Glory
ULTIMATE LEMON: I Spit on your Grave

Stephen (recently found out that everyone else calls him The Bear):
While David is enjoying what sounds like a paean to adolescent self-love, I recommend you turn your collective noses up at all that is good and proper and debase yourselves by watching Sudden Fury I Spit On Your Grave, this week’s antidote to awards season back-slapping. See it as a pro-feminist polemic, if you must, just see it. Or don’t. I actually don’t care very much about films that aren’t set in Hampshire this week, which includes NEDS, yet another hoodie epic. Enough.

ORANGE CHOICE: I Spit On Your Grave

*David, who looks distinctly sulky, is making a point of sitting with his hands where everyone can see them. Georgina’s smirking with the air of someone who’s about to massive piss John off for the third week running*

Georgina (looks like she knows her way round a Thermos):
NEDS, a Scottish film with young non-actors is the perfect answer to endless weeks of Oscar/BAFTA star hype. If you really don’t care if Anne Hathaway is going to be the next Catwoman, or Natalie Portman will take the role of an oily seagull in Al Gore’s new documentary (one of these may not be true), then this drama is the one to see. Still a lemon, forever a lemon, is The King’s Speech. Even my dad wants to see what he calls, with stunning inaccuracy: “King George the eleventh”, which means that the film has finally filtered down to the lowest tier. DON’T GO.

ULTIMATE LEMON: The King’s Speech

John (has somehow ended up with three different scarves on his desk):
For the third week running, I’m enthusiastically repping The King’s Speech. Not because it’s beautifully shot or superbly acted or sensitively directed or because of Colin’s lovely torso, but because a poster I saw of it today had eighty-eight stars on it, mostly in fives. EIGHTY-EIGHT. That’s more stars than Lavers and Hodgson have had hot dinners, because they live in broken-down cars with violent gypsies.* How else to explain their catastrophic lack of taste? My lemon is Morning Glory, because it pains me to see Harrison Ford so hopelessly debased.

ORANGE CHOICE: The King’s Speech

*quietly* He’s only violent if I act up…

*The ensuing awkward silence is helpfully broken by Becky, Queen of finely turned wooden stuff*

Becky (part-time furniture blogger):
Black Swan is the new The King’s Speech, lovely lead person doing some lovely acting but with the added bonus of a dark and gritty soul. Plus Natalie Portman is amazing in everything, and she looks really pretty and it makes you think. In a good way. Shame more thinking wasn’t involved in The Dilemma, just mind numbingly awful clichés and Vince Vaughn being a prat. Been there, seen that. The fact I was the only person in the cinema says it all. But at least I could bombard Vaughn’s irritatingly bloated face with popcorn without getting chucked out.


And so the team disperses for another week, relegated to separate wings of Best For Film Towers to stop them scratching each other. Are you going to follow one of their recommendations, or go wild and see The Portuguese Nun? Let us know below!


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