Top 10 Halloween Costumes

#10 – Zombie Aslan (The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe)

Aslan died, didn’t he? He died and then he came back to life and then people went crazy and started killing each other. If that’s not a zombie, I don’t know what is. You have two options when attempting to pull off the feline Jesus look; the first one asks that you seek out a dead lion, skin it, climb inside, lay prone on a rock (with a knife sticking from your chest), only ‘resurrecting’ yourself when a small child cries nearby. Don’t worry, small children cry all the time, so this won’t take long. However, we realise this isn’t exactly an easy dress-up option, so feel free to simply create a mane, sling it around your neck and then paint your face with a subtle combination of zombie and lion make-up. Think lion-panda-hybrid and you’ve got it sussed. Amazing.


#9 – Heartless Tinman (The Wizard Of Oz)

The Tinman of The Wizard Of Oz fame had no heart. Who doesn’t love spending October 31st conducting amateur surgery and wrapping themselves in kitchen foil?


#8 – Disco Vampire (Twilight)

We hate Twilight but, hey, it does add a new spin to the old vampire cozzy. Ditch the cape and fangs, stick on your trendiest outfit and paint your face as pale as possible. Next, reach for the hairspray and give yourself a worryingly tall hairdo. Think Jedward, with a soft curl. Finally, we come to the fun bit; glitter. Make sure to roll around in a bit of PVA and then douse yourself in the stuff. Pretty shiny sparkly glitter always screams SCARY to us. Done. You can re-add the fangs if you really want, but a slightly pained / constipated impression should be the crowning glory. Or you could just whip your shirt off and go as a werewolf, which is far simpler…


#7 – The Halfling (The Last Unicorn)

This one sounds tricky but is surprisingly easy. You are basically attempting to make yourself look a little bit like a unicorn and a little bit like a woman; total DIY job. A cone for your horn, yoghurt cups for hooves, wool for the tail and an infinitely sad face to signify a sudden loss / gain of human emotion. Whaddaya mean, people won’t ‘get it’? If they don’t, then they’re FOOLS and you should disassociate yourself with them immediately. Neigh!


#6 – Trophy Mother (Bambi)

We imagine that Carey Mulligan would be amazingly good at this look, as it’s all in the eyes. Those infinitely mournful eyes. Make those eyes as wide and sad as possible, throw on a brown all-in-one, paint on a gunshot wound and you’re set. Well, so we guess anyway; nobody ever saw her post-death as I imagine she was taken away, cleaned and then hung on a wall somewhere…


#5 – Sean Bean’s Corpse (All The Sean Bean Films)

Sean Bean pretty much dies in every single movie; he’s not ashamed because, generally, he always dies LIKE A BOSS. You owe it to him to make sure that, this Halloween, you recreate every single one of his passings. You’ll need a few arrows sticking from your chest, a hat made of pebbles, a book with a bullet hole in it, general bullet holes riddled all over your head and torso (ALL OVER IT!), ropes hanging from your feet and hands, a rope round your neck, a slash wound across your throat, a false head under your arm, a bayonet in your stomach, a farm animal or two to hand, a stake AND spear sticking into you somewhere and a small burning helicopter. There’s probably more but this seems like enough to get you started. Go mental for Bean; go bloody mental!


#4 – Bee My Baby (My Girl)

Macaulay Culkin looks a little bit like the Milky-Bar Kid, minus the cute cowboy hat. Add a bit of (tasteful) zombie make-up and stick as many bees as possible to your body for a costume that’ll really get the room buzzing…


#3 – Egg Him On (Star Wars: Episode VI – Return Of The Jedi)

Remember how, at the end of Return Of The Jedi, Luke pulls back Darth Vader’s helmet to reveal the face of his dying father? It looked a little bit like a diseased Humpty Dumpty hatchling, didn’t it? Yes, it did. You need to recreate this look; we won’t bore you with the details on how to forge yourself a black cape, a red lightsaber and a ventilation pack. You’re a seasoned Halloweener and we respect that. The only crucial difference to this costume is that you ditch the helmet and, instead, press modelling clay to your face so that it takes on the appearance of an egg-shaped monstrosity. Don’t smooth it down; finger grooves and creases will add integrity. Powder the whole thing pale. Paler, paler… more pale. Powder your eyes black. Look like an obese Grim-Reaper? Perfect. Now get out and force-choke someone!


#2 – Tu-Whit, Tu-Why? (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part 1)

The pain is (almost) still too fresh for this one, but we feel Hedwig deserves to be remembered. You’ll need white feathers, a false beak, white clothing, lots of fake blood and a strong sense of respect for Harry Potter’s dearly departed owl. Good luck!


#1 – Get Literal (One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest)

This was a book before it was a film, so it’s only fair we pay special attention to the lovely lovely words. First up, make a large number one out of cardboard and fix it to your chest. Next, add some fairy wings; the more fanciful the better, obviously, as you are supposed to be trapped in a dreamlike insanity. Finally, you’ll need to find two mid-sized birds nests (hint: they are often found in trees). Set them down on the floor, about 30cm apart, and step into them as you might a pair of slippers. Look into a mirror and marvel at your literal realisation of one of the greatest movies ever made and smile smugly. Film buff status INCREASED!


Will you be dressing up this Halloween in one of our costumes? Why or why not?!

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