…in which MacGyver must use some old tat he finds in the attic to torture Carey Elwes. LIVE OR DIE!

As the stage is set for another bloody awful year of Nicolas Cage releasing eight thousand crappy films, we thought we’d take you on a whistle-stop tour back through his entire demented oeuvre since the Millennium. Not suitable for readers who are sensitive to unpleasant hairstyles.

Everyone’s favourite goggle-eyed action hero, Nicolas Cage, has been forced to sell off six of his luxury homes in Europe and the US.