Good films are our favourite kind of films, and it’s pretty hard to make a good film out of a rubbish script. As a result, most good films have pretty good scripts. But sometimes, even in the very best films, there are lines so arse-shatteringly dreadful that they cause nearby birds to explode. Here’s some of those.

God, things are sexy, aren’t they? So many things that there are, and all of them sexy. Baths, cooking, pithy conversations in a descending elevator – all you need is Anne Hathaway, some improbably witty back and forth with a chiselled titaniMAN, and boom – fruitful flesh-grappling is in the air. Except, of course, that it never is. Not really.

We’ve all heard the good news – the Governator has hung up his democratic sash and is preparing to step back into his loincloth/leather jacket/commando boots of unremitting ass-kickery for some new and crunchy films. Among the fifteen projects Arnie is reportedly considering are remakes of Predator and True Lies, as well as yet another Terminator sequel; but we think he should be diversifying…

As the 54th BFI London Film Festival draws to a close, we had the pleasure of escaping into the Californian sunshine for two hours of a dreary Monday morning – only to discover that there’s just as much heartache sloshing around LA as there is here at Best For Film Towers. We might, in fact, even have less, because none of us were conceived through sperm donation and brought up by Annette Bening and Julianne Moore. Relatively unexperienced directrice Lisa Cholodenko presents a well-balanced and decidedly grownup drama which also manages to be deliciously funny.