Because we don’t like you to try new things without our express permission, we took it upon ourselves to give the Pyjama Party: Dance Edition at the cushy Prince Charles Cinema a whirl – six films, ten hours, millions of jazz hands. With booze. And a onesie. Under the dictionary definition of “a good time”, you will find a picture of us attempting the Dirty Dancing lift, at 6am, blind drunk.

“Football is 80% mental and 40% physical.” Erroneous mathematics is just one of the highlights of that hallowed cornerstone of the film industry; the sports movie. Other than sex, the only other thing which has the power to absolutely unite the sexes is a good sports film; everyone’s equal in the stadium, you know? Dudes put on makeup and call it “warpaint”, women start bottling people in the stands, everyone wears skintight Lycra – sports movies bring out the pikey banter-lad in us all. It’s hot, the Olympics are nigh – let’s get rowdy.

Kirsten Dunst is miserable again, and we for three cannot wait to see why! Celebrating the release of Lars von Trier’s Melancholia with a look back at Kirsten’s life in film, we present the Cliff Notes on a career that has gone from saving the planet from sentient children’s toys to just having a big, tired sit on the ground in order to watch the world burn. She once kissed Brad Pitt and hated it; how many 11-year-olds can say that?