A new month, a new Spider-Man and a new batch of Best For Film writers! How on earth will you work out what to see this evening without us? No reasonable human could be expected to choose between Webhead, Kristen Wiig, Abraham Lincoln, Joel Murray’s little brother and Dolly Parton – fortunately, however, we’re not reasonble. Or human.

It has been suggested that Channing Tatum is something akin to Upstairs, Downstairs brought to life; Upstairs is fine, but Downstairs is where all the fun stuff is at. With his unparalleled wuzuquan kung fu skills winning him the ‘Most Athletic’ award from Tampa Catholic High School, in addition to his Best Fight MTV Movie Award nomination (he was robbed by that useless arrow-slinging bint Jennifer Lawrence), not only is this clearly patently untrue, but frankly insulting for an actor of Tatum’s quality and talent. Allow this Cheat Sheet to show you why.

Remember when Top 10 lists weren’t depressing, but uplifting? They reminded you about which beach bodies were buffest, and who was the richest, and which holiday destinations were best. This list isn’t like that. This is a sad list. Now, this sad list has parameters because we aren’t talking about merely becoming older, for that is unaccountably ageist, and we at Best For Film love those close-to-death, crotchety, ‘back in my day’ old timers. We aren’t here to make fun of those rushing headlong into the endless sleep. No, no dear friends, we are here to make fun of those actors and actresses that have become freaks of nature. Welcome to our sad list guys. You won’t thank us.

As the nights begin to draw in once more (they genuinely are, it’s awful), Best For Film’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of vampires, radioactive mutants and giant sharks. Need help on which one to favour with your precious 2-4-1? Then thank God, weary traveller, that you found us…

He’s got another phenomenally ill-advised comedy out this week – but don’t judge Bruce Willis on his increasingly mad career choices, judge him on the time he sent twelve thousand boxes of cookies to Iraq. Don’t know what we’re talking about? Better read on, or you’re liable to be left VERY red-faced at your place of work’s (probably) annual Walter Willis quiz night!

Pixar isn’t the only cinematic institution to be pulling on the tartan this summer – the Edinburgh International Film Festival is in full swing once again, and if you want even the slightest chance of catching the best films (read: the ones we like the look of) then you’ve got no business reading any blog but this one. Thank God it’s Monday, eh?

If Best For Film Towers were located in District 12, we’d be shuddering at the prospect of the 75th OWL and its accompanying Quarter Quell. Fortunately, however, it isn’t and we aren’t. Instead, we’re mostly concerned about the prospect of you accidentally going to a crap film. WE’RE SO SELFLESS DO WHAT WE SAY.

Sigourney Weaver is back on our screens this week with Red Lights, her third dismal thriller in under a year. But there’s more than guns and Cillian Murphy to the Queen of Sci-Fi, the woman credited with finally bringing gender balance to the Force from Ghostbusters to Avatar. Oh, and did you know she’s part of a club that includes Jamie Foxx, Emma Thompson and Al Pacino? It’s Cheat Sheet o’clock!

The 66th Edinburgh International Film Festival runs from 20 June to 1 July 2012, and we’ve got a pair of tickets to see the opening night film KILLER JOE, ahead of its UK release, to give away!

Welcome to Best For Film’s newest and best feature! To give you a chance to get to know our bucking and whinnying stable of writers, we’ll be running irregular BFFFF (that’s Best For Film’s Favourite Flicks) blogs so individual scribblers can pop their heads up above the parapet of Best For Film Towers and lay their hearts bare. This week it’s newbie Christine Strouts and her choice – Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof.