War Horse is out – it’s time to get pissed and watch films about war! And horses! And horses in war! But if there’s one thing war horses love, it’s rules; rules like ‘every horse gets a sugar cube after a hard day’s war’ and ‘no matter how long the war goes on, don’t eat your horse’. If you need some horse/war-related rules, you’ve come to the right place.

Another week of 2012 ebbs away, and the offerings at your local gigaplex are still distressingly dull – basically, it’s sugar-coated biopics of female politicians or bust. Still, if there’s one thing we know how to do it’s make the best of a bad situation – all you need is to go on and on about The Artist even though it came out last week! Yay!

Everyone loves Stanley Tucci. You know him, he’s the little bald chap in The Devil Wears Prada. And the little bald chap in Julie & Julia. And the little bald chap in Burlesque. And the not-bald paedophile in The Lovely Bones. See? That’s how good an actor he is – sometimes he acts HAVING HAIR. He’s not actually gay, either. Feeling ignorant? Come inside…

It’s a brand new year, the world is full of hope and yet somehow, it’s still Monday. We’ve decided enough is enough. Every Monday we’ll be bringing you something BRILLIANT to do this week – that ought to show it, the sneaky rogue. To kick us off: did someone say comedy Clint Eastwood musicians?

Secretly, we are all a teeny weeny bit Sedatephobic. That’s right; we fear silence. The awkward silence on a first date, the uncomfortably long pause after a joke bombs, the too-silent bedroom as you try to ‘lose yourself in the moment’, the creepy basement… it’s no good denying it. We want to fill silence. Which is why, when treating yourself to a spectacular silent film (in celebration of this week’s hottest release, The Artist), we strongly advise you drink heavily, to ease the tension…

January’s crap. But London’s good, isn’t it? And films are ACE. What better way to cope with January than by seeing loads of films in London? Exactly. Fortunately, there are loads of people who really, really want you to do this – so much so that they’re doing, like, festivals and everything! Suddenly January’s not so bad aft- oh god, it’s raining again.

Oh my flipping flopping flange, the OWLs are a year old! This is momentous. We’d love to throw our weekly citrus opinion-fest a more fitting party, but unfortunately 2012 has so far been the year of totally crap films. Still, things are bound to pick up – and until they do, you need our help more than ever…

Titles are important. Think about it; if you were going to eat a chocolate bar, wouldn’t you rather something delicious-sounding like a Caramel rather than a Turd? Of course you would. It’s the same with films, which is why we hate those that give away EVERYTHING in the title. Here are the 10 worst offenders, which we’ve messed with, BFF style…

Is there anyone in the world who doesn’t adore Olivia Colman? Yes, there is. Her old Gap employer. Because she kept telling customers to go and buy jeans from John Lewis. BOOM. Already you’ve learnt a thing about Olivia Colman. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING.

It’s Christmas time. Sure, it’s the 31st, but TECHNICALLY we’re all still firmly in the 12 Days Of Christmas spirit of things. And you know what happens at Christmas? Miracles. To celebrate all things miraculous, Best For Film will be looking into one of the most awesome of all phenomena; life that imitates film. Here are the Top 10 Film Plots That Came True…