Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons #52

*As YEAR TWO of the OWLs begins, there’s not really anything that interesting in the cinema. Still, since the denizens of Best For Film Towers are like motion-picture sharks (if we stop criticising we suffocate) we’d better find something to talk about anyway. Tash is up first, as befits her noble position…*

Tash (25/f/London, WLTM…):
I know it’s a fresh, gleaming, wipe-clean new year and all that, but personally I’m still languishing in the now tepid delights of 2011. Mission: Impossible 4 – Tom Cruise with added knowingness courtesy of Brad Bird – is my selection this evening. It’s got all I want from a slightly stressful first week back; it’s funny, it’s a blasty, it’s just a bit stupid, and it contains some seriously magic gloves. And Simon Pegg, which all films should try to include if they possibly can. I’m not particularly fussed about seeing anything else this week – The Artist still isn’t really out and you know it – so I’m going to say that I’m purposefully avoiding eye contact with Sherlock Holmes – after how much fun I had watching the Beeb’s Sherlock this week, any conversation we had would just be awkward and embarrassing.

Orange Choice: Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Ultimate Lemon: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows


Papa Neish (since 2009):
Today is somewhat of an anniversary for us OWLing types, and to celebrate a rather fruitful year in blogging I will be defying the laws of geography and taking my oranges to any cinema within hitchhiking distance that is showing The Artist. By all accounts it was the best silent movie of last year, and perhaps even one of the best movie movies too. As for my lemon I will add it to the store I’m currently stockpiling in time for Michael Dowse’s Goon (Jay Baruchel, I trusted you!) – a movie that looks so bad that I might just have to rethink my life and start writing about actual owls instead. So, who’s going to drive me to Aberdeen?

Orange Choice: The Artist
Ultimate Lemon: Goon


Kayleigh (searching for a sexier emoticon):
My mother went to the cinema yesterday to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. She came back and responded to my cheery “how was it?” with a face long enough to rival the title star of War Horse. Eventually, I managed to wear her down, and she revealed that it was the strangest thing, but that she’d felt as if she’d seen the film before. Uh-huh. That’s because you HAVE seen it before! In the cinema! With me! With sub-titles! NOT ALL THAT LONG AGO! And that’s why, controversially, I brand TGWTDT a lemon. I’m tired of it and its sly old tricks. Daniel Craig it may have, but an original story? Not one jot. On the other hand, being as I’m apparently not allowed to get excited for War Horse yet, I give my orange to The Artist. Again. Partly because it’s amazing, but partly just because I can.

Orange Choice: The Artist
Ultimate Lemon: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo


*Ah. Not entirely sure Florence is going to like that… And hang on, could this be a pro-Lisbeth double team? LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!*
Florence (has literally nothing better to do):
There doesn’t seem to be much out this week, which is making this juicing business most difficult. But seeing as I haven’t seen it yet, and how I loved the trailer, I think I’m going to award this week’s Orange to Fincher‘s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It doesn’t seem to have lived up to the hype, but I still think it looks exciting and cool and I look forward to seeing Rooney Mara’s performance in it, as well as the huge supporting cast (genius to have Julian Sands play a young Christopher Plummer. Well done, casting person). I also plan to celebrate afterwards by buying a leather jacket, getting my nipple pierced and eating some Swedish food (pickles?). You know, I’ll throw caution to the wind and make a day of it. My Lemon is going to (DRUM ROLL PLS) The Artist, partly because it’s been a slow week and, hell, I like to stir things up a bit but also because films are meant to have talking in them. That’s why they call them the talkies. On a (vaguely) serious note, I’m not sure I get the point of this film? Shouldn’t people be making films about new things, like hover robots and bionic Olympics and China taking over the world? Why is everyone so bothered about a silent film that *could* be a talking film if it wanted? That seems “dumb” to me. Ahem.

Orange Choice: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Ultimate Lemon: The Artist


Duncan (crooked nose detective):
Have you read my bio? You haven’t, have you. It’s like you don’t even care. If you HAVE read it, 1. Stop it John, it’s getting a bit odd now, and 2. You’ll have seen that I’m a champion of Alien 3. On that evidence, I will literally watch any old shit with Fincher at the helm. Especially if it’s a fairly samey remake of a film I already like. I like the same film existing twice! It’ll cut my DVD selection time in half! Unfortunately it’s really long so I won’t have time to see The Lady, a decision which honestly has nothing to do with it looking as worthy and boring as a bible made of rye bread.
Orange Choice: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Ultimate Lemon: The Lady


*Blimey. It doesn’t really matter what John thinks now, does it?*
John (at least 83% biscuit, but never more than 20% man anyway):
One of the things I really, really feel I ought to do is catch up on all the Woody Allen films I’ve never bothered to watch. With that in mind, my first Orange of 2012 has got ’35mm rerelease of classic Woody ALlen comedy Hannah and her Sisters‘ written all over it. Sadly, I just can’t get that excited about The Lady – alright, so two hundred thousand Burmese people went mental when we broke the news of Michelle Yeoh’s casting, but when all’s said and done it’s going to be a romantic drama masquerading as something more important. Blah.

Orange Choice: Hannah and her Sisters
Ultimate Lemon: The Lady


*And we’re spent. See you in week #53, sequence fans!*

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