While critically condemned, the Resident Evil franchise has nevertheless achieved considerable commercial success and enjoyed a wide audience. That’s all likely to change after Resident Evil: Retribution, a film so laughably incapable, so shamelessly derivative and so woefully unengaging that it’ll likely succeed where its zombie antagonists have failed… in mortally wounding Milla Jovovich’s Alice.

Don’t you just hate it when zombies eat your imaginary husband?