Love blossoms when a father least expects in Neil Jordan’s modern day fairytale. Blessed with pretty shots of the Irish coast and a close-knit fishing village where everyone pokes their noses into their neighbours’ business, Ondine is a picture postcard to the Emerald Isle. British audiences who struggle with a thick accent would probably benefit from subtitles when characters chew the fat, so some of Jordan’s script is lost to the Atlantic breeze. In truth, it’s not a great loss because for all the blah blahrney, we learn very little about the protagonists or their passions, and the central romance is rather wet – like the actors after a tumble in the briny.

It’s always nice to stay ahead of the curve, if only so you can feel unneccessarily smug in front of friends and loved ones. With this in mind Best For Film brings you what you need to know about next week’s film releases. Have a read, plan your week accordingly, and practice that lovely self-satisfied smile we all love you for…