How do you judge the greatest horror film ever made? Is it how near you come to running out the room, sweating? Is it the intensity of the nightmares that follow? Or is it the film that sparks off agorophobia? If that is the criteria, then Big Momma’s House gets my vote.

If you’re already aware of The Killer Inside Me, chances are you’ll almost certainly know of it as “that film where Casey Affleck beats seven shades of blue out of Jessica Alba’s face.” You don’t have to wait long to find out that you have not been lied to. Indeed, if The Killer Inside Me sets out to make audiences feel uncomfortable, then it is an undeniable success. But does the film have anything else noteworthy to offer us?

Not content with desecrating the legacy of such horror classics as The Wicker Man, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Hitchcock’s own Psycho, Hollywood is now setting out to turn The Birds into yet another lifeless, pointless, remake.