If you thought that feathered mariachi bands, chameleons facing Hamlet-esque existential crises, and Pirates of the Caribbean were, in and of themselves, essentially ridiculous, farcical concepts, you’d be absolutely right. Now throw these entirely unrelated absurdities together to create one great, big, superlative mash-up of ridiculousness, and you get Rango.

And for some equally and befittingly bizarre reason, it works.

How do you know what you’re going to see at the cinema next month? You’re busy people – Facebook won’t update itself, and you’ve probably got a relationship to neglect or something. Oh, you haven’t? Sorry. Well, there’s no point in trying to meet another human adult now, you may as well just read this blog.

Two households, both alike in dignity/ In fair Verona, where we lay our scene/ From ancient grudge break to new mutiny/ Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean/ From forth the fatal loins of these two foes/ A pair of star-cross’d GNOMES IT’S ALL BLOODY GNOMES AAARGH.

The world of film is awash with Marmite topics – actors, genres or even cinematic styles which make some movie-goers dampen their plush seats and others tear the stuffing from the punter in front. In our J’accuse series, two of Best For Film’s writers go head-to-head and debate a controversial aspect of cinema. This time round it’s the worst nightmare of every indie Japanese director – the Hollywood remake.

Everybody loves a freebie. Just ask Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross. And whilst I wouldn’t say that ALL of the best things in life are free, The Scoop is offering something truly great. Outside film screenings. And I’ve got the windswept hair to prove it. So forget about the rubbish giveaways; like flyers through your letterbox, a dress ten sizes too small that your pal gave you because she lost weight, or the free drink that ain’t alcohol (yeah thanks) because this is GOOD stuff!!

Director Julie Taymor has never shied away from Hollywood-ing up the world of Shakespeare – her Titus Andronicus was an explosion of sex, violence and colour – and judging by the first poster for her upcoming The Tempest, she’s still going as strong as ever.

God, life is rubbish isn’t it? It’s cold, you’re unattractive, that umbrella you nicked has been nicked off you (how dare they) and you’re really really unattractive.At least we can count on Disney – unstoppable global terror that it is – to provide us with some respite. But even big dog Disney needs inspiration. And a lot of the time, inspiration comes from existing tales, from history, from myths, from life itself. And it turns out the Disney version might be spruced up a bit…