With hard-hitting sex-addict drama Shame hitting our screens to the applause of critics everywhere, it’s no wonder we’ve got the two-backed monster on our minds. From Carey Mulligan’s unexpected nudity (forget the sad eyes!) and Fassbender’s humongous ‘fassbender’, it was pretty sexy. So sexy. But also horribly horribly unsexy. And so, to celebrate all things gross and disturbing in the bedroom, we’ve decided to count down the top 10 least sexy sex scenes ever…

Hopefully she won’t have to steal as many dogs this time round.

Absence should make the heart grow fonder but has anyone missed Jennifer Lopez on the big screen during her four-year hiatus to raise fraternal twins with husband Marc Anthony? The slow-burning 1998 thriller Out Of Sight with George Clooney remains her best work, sandwiched between the camp B-movie Anaconda and numerous instantly-forgettable romantic comedies. Lopez makes her return to pouting in front of the camera in Alan Poul’s whimsical chick flick, which asserts that love happens when you least expect it. Excited? Yep.

Absence should make the heart grow fonder but has anyone missed Jennifer Lopez on the big screen during her four-year hiatus to raise fraternal twins with husband Marc Anthony? The slow-burning 1998 thriller Out Of Sight with George Clooney remains her best work, sandwiched between the camp B-movie Anaconda and numerous instantly-forgettable romantic comedies. Lopez makes her return to pouting in front of the camera in Alan Poul’s whimsical chick flick, which asserts that love happens when you least expect it. Excited? Yep.

You know what we enjoy doing? Going to the future. We also enjoy going back to the future, but we’ve had copyright problems with that before. The point is, we’ve risked life and limb to discover what films are hitting our screens in upcoming weeks. Don’t ask us how we’ve done it. All we’ll say is that the Wikipedia Towers of the future are a terrifying and overly bear-guarded place. So, should you save our pennies for an upcoming epic, or splurge like there’s no tomorrow on the flicks out now? We’ve got the answers right here.