Every December, on the magical eve of collective financial ruin, mega-marketing corporations and advertising henchmen alike find a way to manipulate one and all into mindless, mass-consumerism. Alas, Christmas comes but once a year, the jolly holiday is eight long months away, and creme eggs don’t sell themselves. What to do? Well exploit Easter, of course, and monetise the hell out of the seasonal anthropomorphisms.

And don’t you dare feign indifference.

Believe it or not, Baywatch: The Movie has been floating around (brilliant) for a while now, but there’s never been any word on director or cast members. However, perhaps with the announcement of the writers; Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka, other news might come flooding in (somebody stop us!)