As you literally cannot have failed to notice, Ben ‘look what a nice beard I’ve got’ Affleck has just been cast as the new Batman in Warner Bros’ three thousandth reboot of everyone’s favourite neurotic detective gimp. We spectacularly failed to predict this. But could his CV offer some clues to other actors who’d be… well, Battier? We’ve delved into the depths of Ben’s IMDb to decide which of his costars would do a better job.

Why won’t she stop?