It’s Day Two of our Christmas countdown, and after the improbable success of yesterday’s paean to Ross Partridge we’re combing the length and breadth of Hollywood to find our top two turtle doves. That probably sounds quite easy, particularly if you have a proper job, but actually we don’t know what the fuck a turtle dove is. Is it a bird? Is it a reptile? Is it some sort of brilliant cross-over, living in a sewer? Actually, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Doves would be completely brilliant – if you want us we’ll be working on a pitch.

Christmas is coming, and here at Best For Film Towers we think you deserve a little more effort than a supermarket Advent calendar and a holly-wreathed credit card statement. Delving into the darkest recesses of cinema, we’ve amassed a list of our favourite seventy-eight (you’ll see) unexpectedly Christmassy actors, directors, films and more to bring you a unique (and completely incorrectly timed) version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. All together now…