With Jack Reacher hitting cinemas this Winter, it’s only right we honor the crazy stunt-monster himself. Say what you like about his personal life, but Tom Cruise is undeniably a fantastic screen presence. Whether you’re watching him mixing drinks (Cocktail) or drinking drinks (The Last Samurai) or demanding drinks (Tropic Thunder) or getting his eyeballs removed (Minority Report), there’s a jolly good reason for everyone to toast our favourite psychopath!

For some reason, the marvellous Jason Lee is currently appearing in the inevitably-crap Alvin and the Chipmunks threequel. We’re not going to talk about that. In fact, in an attempt to actively avoid talking about it we’re going to talk about all the other super stuff he’s done – that way, if someone brings up Alvin and his hellish brood you can just go LA LA LA SKATEBOARDS!

With David Fincher’s remake/adaptation of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo about to hit our screens, and the rumour mill about an English adaptation of the Old Boy going into overdrive, we thought it was the perfect time to remind everyone of the horrors of Getting The Remake Wrong. There are many, many re-workings that never should have been attempted, but heck we’re all busy, so in the name of convenience we’ve handily we’ve whittled it down to the top 5 we’ll never forgive…

It’s all too easy, with a little bit of education in the matter of the movies, to become a film snob. An art house film here, a B-movie there, and suddenly you find yourself sneering at the current box office offerings, and assuming a taste for obscure Hong Kong horror shorts. Maybe you start wearing ironic, postmodern t-shirts, like Che Guevara wielding a light sabre. And oh, how you hate it when the soul sucking devils over in Hollywood-town remake one of your classics, the one you’ve seen nearly one and a half times!