It’s mid-October, so obviously the world is already decked out in Christmas bullshit and seasonal food that goes out of date in November. Christmas coming early is obviously ridiculous, but the real tragedy behind it is that Hallowe’en – king of all the fatuous seasonal holidays – gets left behind, struggling to be heard under the mountains of chocolate Santa Claus’ and reams of low-quality, pound-land wrapping paper. Well bollocks to that! Stick two-fingers up to Christmas and get terrifyingly drunk with our Classic Horror Movies Drinking Game!

The witching hour approaches and the fire is burning low, dear friends. So gather close and listen we list some of the greatest Halloween classics to… what? Made them up? Of course not! All of these are one hundred percent genuine films. If by genuine you mean that they came to us in a dream and we wrote them down and crudely edited some images. In that case they totally are.

If you love horror films and you have at least twenty-four hours to live, then there is absolutely nothing you should be doing more than reading (and subsequently adhering to) this itinerary. How else are you going to know what to watch at six thirty in the morning when you’ve just watched a zombie baby rip someone’s head open?

As a huge proportion of horror films become ever more identikit, gory and bland, it’s very easy to write off the whole genre as worthless. But we’re standing up and saying NO MORE! There’s gold in them thar pans of muddy shite, and we’re going to find it.

Johnny Depp and Tim Burton’s seventh film together, Alice in Wonderland is set for release early next year. As we wait in anticipation for a trippy tale of a girl in wonderland and a madhatter, let’s refresh our memories with the six films which helped to establish one of the strongest director/actor relationships in Hollywood.