To celebrate the release of Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, which continues the adventures of the escaped zoo animals as they traverse another continent on their journey home, we thought we would delve into the cinematic archives to relive the greatest movies and moments that took place in and around zoos. And it turns out, they’re as varied as they are memorable! So come on in. We won’t even charge you £300 entry (plus an obligatory £50 donation) like a real zoo!

You’ve seen the lists of forthcoming blockbusters, superheroes and potential Oscar-fodder, but what are the 2012 films you haven’t heard of and have no interest in seeing? H Anthony Hildebrand has all the inessential (and made up) details.

The Rum Diary is an occasionally funny, occasionally madcap film that essentially is neither very funny nor very madcap. Despite the promises of the trailer the film follows a narrative that is conventional and even a tad dull. All in all, it’s a bit of a rum deal. Ahem.

Heading out on the town tonight and looking to make some new, ahem, “acquaintances”? Not quite as adept with the lingo of love as you’d like to be? Been shot down more times than Boromir in The Lord Of The Rings? Now is not the time to panic, as we’ve done all the hard work for you. After scouring the film database, we’ve pulled out the top 10 chat-up lines that can be applied to any romantic situation, ever ever. So read them. Learn them. Dazzle the opposite sex with them and, when you get laid, send us a box of chocolates. We like chocolates…

Captain Jack! CAPTAIN JACK! We’ve found the rum, mate.

Who are the most baked, caned, hopped-up or tripped-out characters in movie history? Here, in the sort of order which can only really be dreamt up through a haze of quaaludes, mescaline and Night Nurse, are our top ten.

This is the age of the remake, when it seems nothing is sacred. These are perhaps the most untouchable films , and what we think the suits would try to do if they got hold of them. Read on for some truly horrifying scenarios…..