Good luck outacting a fifteen-year-old, Rupe.

He’s got another mediocre action film out – in this one he plays the grizzled vet to Ryan Reynolds’ wet-behind-the-ears n00b, so THAT’s new and exciting! – and more in the pipeline – has Denzel Washington forgotten the power and flair which won him two Oscars? No, actually, he hasn’t. Hang on, what do you mean you didn’t know about the two Oscars? Nurse – give this patient a Cheat Sheet, stat.

The English-language debut of Swedish thriller director Daniel Espinosa is a “high-octane”, “intense”, “no holds barred” (delete as appropriate) maelstrom of secrets, spies and badly edited fight scenes. The cast is fine and it’s always nice to go back to South Africa (fokken prawns!), but surely we’ve outgrown two hour gunfights interspersed with trash talk?

Sigh. Ryan, why make it so difficult for us?