This week sees a new Twilight film, a(nother) new Nic Cage film and a Bollywood film about someone called Hitler – let’s be honest, you’re going to need some help to navigate the minefield of potential Orange Wednesday choices. If only there was some sort of stalwart blogging team waiting to inform your decision! Hey, wait…

Kolkata, West Bengal recently hosted its 17th annual film festival, screening over 150 films over its 7 day run. Bollywood and Hollywood weren’t invited. We were. Not so hot on your Bengali film-making? Want to get to grips with Tollywood? Read on, and learn a bit more about the other side of Indian cinema…

As the saying goes, time flies when you’re waiting for Arthur Christmas to come out. HURRAH FOR AN ACTUAL REAL-LIFE CHRISTMAS FILM! Now that the noble despair of Kevin as dissipated, it’s time to joyfully don a lumpy jumper, set your crackers from stun to kill and try and forget that quite a few people are going to watch Immortals instead…

How exactly does one come up with a killer idea for a TV pilot? Not only have all the good ideas been taken, they’ve been rehashed, span-off, re-made, re-imagined, re-worked flogged, revived and flogged again. And mostly, they’ve got Hugh Laurie in. Having examined the recent US small-screen output, we’re pretty confident we can see patterns emerging… The question is, which ones should you bother with?

On the 19th November the earliest animated feature film in existence will be playing at the The Pipeline in London. Lotte Reiniger’s gorgeous The Adventures Of Prince Achmed (1926) is a masterpiece; breathing life, magic, music and spectacle into cardboard marionettes with mind-bending skill. Read on, learn more and for goodness sake, make sure you go and watch it.

With the devastating news that The Muppets will not be doling out the orders at the 2012 Academy Awards, our faith in the entire organisation has gone to pot. Should we even bother with this evening of glittery, dead-eyed back-slapping? Would we if Hugh Jackman was involved? Shall we just watch that opening number one more time? Two of our writers hash it out, or at least they will until we turn off the mics and pump up the music…

History will probably remember this week as ‘that week just after We Need To Talk About Kevin came out’. Or else, ‘that week just Before Arthur Christmas came out’. Well, we’re stuck here. And frankly, they are both better names than ‘that week where we had to watch some people poo into the mouths of some other people.’ HURRAH FOR WEDNESDAY!

With The Human Centipede 2 oozing its way onto cinema screens today, our thoughts can’t help but turn to that tricky devil: censorship. Is there room for it in the information age, or is it as antiquated as the desire to leave mouth and anus unattached? Two of our mouthiest writers fight it out with *REMOVED DUE TO CONTENT* results…

We’ve just had the hottest October on record. You know what that means, right? It means prissy little Miss November is jonesing for attention. In preparation for what will invariably be monsoon/earthquake/volcano-shorts season, the best thing to do is secure yourself a seat in the nearest filmy-box and gaze this dreadful month away…

Thinking about rewatching From Hell this Hallowe’en weekend? Before you do, cast an eye over this week’s Face/Off, where two of our most debauched and confused writers will be trying to hammer out an answer to that thorny old question: are films adaptations of Alan Moore graphic novels universally dreadful? Come, read and make up your mind…