You’d never expect action comedy Norwegian Ninja to live up to the glorious premise of its supercheese title. And yet this absurdist masterpiece from the producers of Dead Snow really does. Full of Norwegians, ninja and so, so much more…

It’s a difficult thing not to get mired in the seriousness of social commentary when you have something particularly serious to say. Enter Louise-Michel, the absurdist story about social revolutionism, fiscal utopias and transgender-hitmen, and a film that delivers its sobering message with an indulgent dose of dark humour and sheer, unadulterated madness.

Tyler Perry adapts a famous stage play. Badly. But at least he’s not in it, dressed as a wise old granny. That was his last film.

Ever wondered what happened to 80s wrestling Superstar and spurious Scotsman ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper? No, neither did I, but a little research reveals that he has held down an acting career for some 20 years. Unfortunately it’s a career that peaked around 20 years ago with the lead role in John Carpenter’s They Live, and from there it was pretty much was all downhill. If you happen to look at the bottom of that hill you will find a twisted and broken wreck called Fists of Rage.

After a tragic event an artist dicovers a way to travel back in time and change the future, in a mystery/sci-fi/general bit of hokum that, despite starring Mads Mikkelsen, fails to convince.

In 1994 Wes Craven reclaimed the original slasher nightmare and helmed the final instalment in the franchised vision of terror – Nightmare on Elm Street. The outcome of Craven’s combined writing and directing efforts in this film – Wes Craven’s New Nightmare – was a vivid horrorscape of the unimaginable and an exercise in intelligent, disturbing inventiveness. 17 years later and My Soul To Take has summoned the cinematic corpse-monger back to the business of blood – but it’s a far cry from the slick-witted slice ‘n dicer – and this time the result may be more bed-time story than Nightmare…

A devastatingly right-on documentary determined to plumb the depths of America’s capital punishment system, In the Land Of The Free follows the life and times of three men: Herman Wallace, Albert Woodfox, and Robert King – collectively known as ‘The Angola Three’. Between them, they have spent over a century in solitary confinement for the murder of a prison guard; a murder that, in all likelihood, they never committed. It’s all sufficiently horrid, worthy stuff – but we have to ask, why is Samuel L involved?

First there was Kidulthood, then there was Adulthood, now there’s Anuvahood. With original writer/director Noel Clarke having absolutely nothing to do with this one it’s up to Kidulthood co-star Adam Deacon to assume the role of writer/director and somehow turn the middling urban drama into comedy gold.

An animated film about a man you’ve probably never heard of and his dog. If you already think this sounds awful then prepare to be surprised. Pleasantly.

Nakashima’s genre-busting revenge drama is an intense tale of the unremitting evil that lies within children’s hearts (and, possibly, the hearts of their teachers). It’s dark, intense, internationally lauded and would make probably make Gus Van Sant (a) feel jealous and (b) do a happy in his pants.