“Jack Frost? Of course I know Jack Frost“, you might say in response to a question we haven’t actually asked. “It’s a gentle family film from 1998 about Michael Keaton dying and coming back to life as a lovely fatherly snowman.” WRONG! At Best For Film Towers, Jack Frost is a 1996 horror film in which a prison van carrying a serial killer crashes into a container of “experimental genetic material” during a snowstorm. Guess what happens next? A Santafucking (we’re now into the two weeks of the year during which this is the legal replacement for ‘motherfucking’) mutant killer snowman happens! And due to some creative interpretation of copyright law, behind today’s Advent calendar window is the whole film. Enjoy (particularly the carrot rape – find out for yourself)…

We hate Christmas.