*With Tash back in the Lion’s Chair, as they say, things are looking a lot less complicated, metaphorical chair wise. And with a pretty impressive spread of cinema to choose from this week, it might just be that everyone’s going to get along….right?*

Papa Neish (liked it so much he should have put a ring on it):

Having exhausted my current stockpile of extended fruit metaphors, I will bore straight to the core this week: drop everything, yes even that, and go enjoy My Week With Marilyn before it is someone else’s turn. Seriously, I’m willing to share it, it’s so dress-billowingly good. On a similarly positive note – what can I say, my glass of orange juice is uncharacteristically half-full (natch) – you should dedicate no less that 90% of your time to seeing >50/50 for its delightfully cancerous jollies. By contrast, there should be absolutely no odds whatsoever that you will instead spend My Week With Daniel in Dream House. Not even those involved think it’s any good.

Orange Choice: My Week With Marilyn
Ultimate Lemon: Dream House

 

Kayleigh (got her glasses banned by evil unicorns):

I’ve needed a good blast of citrus all week long, so I’m happy to hand my orange to Dream House. PSYCH! As if, Dream House. You get a lemon. A big sour horrible yellow lemon. Rachel Weisz, I never wanted to do this to you but, let’s face it, the film is always going to be a little like watching Shutter Island, Gothika and The Shining in some horrible hybrid form. And I know, I know, it’s the film that made you and Daniel Craig fall in love and get married but, if anything, that makes me hate it even more. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME, RACHEL! Take Shelter, on the other hand, gets the orange. We love apocalyptic movies, especially when they dally with human insanity as well. I need something to help me lie awake trembling at night in the run up to Christmas so i can stay awake and MEET Santa! Thanks Take Shelter. Thanks for letting me live the dream…

Orange Choice: Take Shelter
Ultimate Lemon: Dream House

 

John (just wants a girl to share a pie with):

This week the smart Orange money is clearly on The Deep Blue Sea, Terence Davies’ masterful adaptation of the classic Rattigan play – what better to warm you up on a cold nearly-December evening than Tom Hiddleston getting down and dirty 50s style with Rachel Weisz? Speaking of Weisz, incidentally, obviously you must not see Dream House. I don’t have much to add to the others’ germane comments on this issue other than that I’ve heard it’s actually an outré sequel to Monster House, and that Naomi Watts can piss off.

Orange Choice: The Deep Blue Sea
Ultimate Lemon: Dream House

 

Tash (old):

I’m in a dilemma. A foxy dilemma. The kind of dilemma that requires you to wear dangerous heels, accidentally go into the right bar and maybe see Halle Berry’s breasts – my dilemma is that I’m similarly enamoured with both 50/50 and Moneyball. One is a kind, funny and heartfelt tale of life and death with Seth Rogen actually being very good, and one is a whip-crackingly sharp celebration of thinking differently with Jonah Hill actually being very good. Tricky. I think it’s going to have to go to Moneyball, seeing as otherwise you’d all dismiss it cos it’s about baseball. But you shouldn’t, because – as with anything Aaron Sorkin has a hand in – it’s about so much more than that. Obviously my lemon is Dream House, for one reason and for one reason alone: it’s obviously totally awful. Might not be enough of a reason for you, but heck, it’s good enough for me.

Orange Choice: Moneyball
Ultimate Lemon: Dream House

 

*Gosh, everyone in agreement? HURRAH for 50/50, for Moneyball, for Take Shelter, for My Week With Marilyn, for The Deep Blue Sea! The gang prepare a mighty, possibly even flammable high-five in celebration, when suddenly, out of nowhere*

Florence (back once again with the ill behaviour):

My last orange of the internship (*sniff sniff*) will be ceremoniously thrown in the general direction of Dream House largely because I have problems with my brain. I also feel sorry for Dream House because everyone else appears to hate it. But you know what? I like scary films about scary houses with loads of twisty twists and so what if the trailer gave away huge spoilers? Sometimes that’s life, people. Deal with it. I feel like it could be good, seeing as it stars Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz AND Naomi Watts, who are all proper actors. My lemon sadly has to go to Justice because while I enjoy Nicolas Cage’s films, this one seems like it could be a bit too serious and boring for my liking. Nicolas Cage should always be riding flaming motorbikes and/or killing people with guns whilst having sex. It’s that or it’s NOTHING.

Orange Choice: Dream House
Ultimate Lemon: Justice

Idiot.